Insomniac Pep Talk
by Ifit'sNotBaroque
Summary: Lucy's feeling guilty and Edmund's there to help. Just a little story set after Voyage of the Dawn Treader that has definitely had similiar things done, but I needed to get my own version out there. First Narnia fiction. ((Formally LyddieLovesWriting))


**This is my first time writing for The Chronicles of Narnia. I identify with Edmund a lot and with Lucy in Voyage of the Dawn Treader. I also love how their relationship grew throughout the movies. I'm huge on family fluff. I haven't read or seen Voyage of the Dawn Treader in a while (though I did get the book out to look up a few things), so I apologize if I make any mistakes.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Chronicles of Narnia, that's C.S. Lewis' job and I thank God for that.**

Edmund lied in bed pondering everything that had happened while they were in Narnia for the last time. He sighed, devastated that they were never to return. Eustace was snoring, making Edmund envious that he was unable to sleep. All of the sudden, he heard a loud sniffle. He sat up and listened. Next he heard a sob. Quickly, he threw off his blankets and walked across the hall to Lucy's room. When he entered, he saw her curled up in a ball crying.

"Lu?" he whispered, sitting down and wrapping his arms around her. She curled into him, muffling the sobs. "I know it's hard, but it will be alright…" he said, attempting to convince himself just as much as Lucy.

"I-I" she hiccupped, "I made a horrid mistake."

Edmund brushed her hair out of her face, "What happened, Lucy? You know you can tell me anything."

Lucy sat up a bit and wiped her tears, "I…I did not accept who Aslan wants me to be…" she replied before crying again.

Edmund gently rubbed her arm, "What are you talking about?"

"When-when I was casting the spell for the Dufflepuds…well, there was a page that would make me beautiful…"

"Oh Lucy…" he murmured.

"It was awful," Lucy continued, "I had wished myself out of existence, just because I wanted to be beautiful like Susan!"

"Lucy, you don't need to be Susan."

"I don't understand why I can't look like her!" Lucy exclaimed, then quickly slapped her hands over her mouth. Then more quietly added, "I just want to be beautiful, that's all…I hadn't meant to become Susan in whole."

"You are beautiful."

"You have to say that, Edmund, you're my brother."

"I mean it. You have the kindest eyes in all of England _and _all of Narnia," he subconsciously started to stroke her hair, "and you have the most beautiful waves that frame your face perfectly. Most importantly, you have a heart of gold, a loving spirit, and a kind soul. Lucy, your beauty goes beyond appearances. You shan't forget that."

Lucy hugged him tightly, "Thanks Edmund." They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, Edmund was hoping Lucy would fall to sleep soon. He could tell by looking at her that she was exhausted, even in the poor lighting. He never understood why girls compared themselves to each other so often, but he wished Lucy wouldn't do that to herself. "Edmund?" Lucy whispered.

"Yes?"

"Why were you awake? I wasn't crying that loudly…you certainly could not have been sleeping."

"Oh…" he paused, not knowing how to continue, then felt a gentle squeeze on his hand, he looked down to see Lucy's hand firmly in his and her smile radiating the room. "I…I couldn't sleep, you're correct. I…I hate that we can't go back. I miss it so much already. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life here…"

"I feel the same way…that's actually what I was originally thinking about. Then I got upset about what I'd done again…"

"You shouldn't feel guilty, Lu…" he gently replied, "I don't want you thinking that way about yourself, but I _really _don't want you dwelling on guilt of past mistakes." He fixed his gaze on the painting of the Dawn Treader, "that's just going to hurt even more. Guilt is an awful thing to go through; I wouldn't have even wished it on Eustace before this trip." That earned a chuckle from Lucy. "You can't let these things eat you up, because soon enough, it will be all you think about. It consumes you, Lucy. You can't let it do that," he finally returned his gaze to her, "it makes you feel wretched. It's like you can't even breathe because of what you did…but you don't deserve that, Lucy, you deserve to know that Aslan has forgiven you. You deserve to know the truth of who you are, my beautiful, loving little sister. You deserve a joyous life, Lucy, not one of guilt."

Lucy blinked back a few more tears, then crashed into him, "How long did you feel that way?"

"Some nights I still do…" he admitted, "But it hasn't been consistent for a long while."

"I'm sorry…I wish I could have helped…"

"I'm not sure there's much you could have done."

"Oh…Edmund?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. We're going to be okay. We've got each other and Eustace…and Peter and Susan. We'll get through this. Perhaps Peter and Susan can give us advice for how to cope."

"That's a good idea, Lucy. Do you think you'll be able to go to sleep now?"

"I think so. I love you, Edmund."

He kissed her forehead, "I love you too, Lucy."

Edmund tucked her in, receiving a glare, "I'm not a little kid anymore, Ed."

"I know, good night."

He returned to the room, trying to be as quiet as possible.

"I'll miss you, you know." Edmund jumped. "Sorry, I hadn't meant to startle you," Eustace apologized.

"It's alright. What was that you said?"

"I'll miss you. If I go back. It won't be the same without you two."

"You heard that, huh?"

"Just the last bit. I hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but Lucy doesn't know how to whisper."

Edmund chuckled, "Thanks, Eustace. I'm sure it will be a grand adventure when it does happen…"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to brag."

"No, it's fine," Edmund insisted, "I want you to enjoy going back. You deserve it."

"Good night, cousin."

"Good night, Eustace." It took a while longer for Edmund to fall to sleep, but it wasn't out of self-pity. He now was worrying about his little sister.

**I hope that wasn't awful. I just love Narnia and I especially love Edmund and Lucy. I really connect with them and this is just something I've wanted to write this past week. I hope you enjoyed it. ~Lyddie /Once a king or queen of Narnia, always a king or queen\\\**


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